Contents
 
 
      Everything for divorce going well, if both parties have agreed on divorce, division of common property and child-care issues by mutual consent? Sometimes, the answer may not be that positive. The fact proves that even if 99% of divorce procedures have been completed, there is still possibility that the divorce turns to be a failure. In case both parties are swayed by their feelings and act rashly, any negligence in the process may leads to a big failure.
      Before registering divorce, it is better to make sure the following matters have been concerned with.
1. Drawing divorce agreement.
      Although the unified formats of divorce agreement are provided at the civil affairs bureau, the structure is too simple, which is actually of little use for reference. To prevent the stall at the bureau due to disagreements and quarrels or even regret from one party, it is essential to draw and sign the divorce agreement ahead of time. At present, not only in Shanghai, but also in other cities around China, it is required that the divorcers should copy the divorce agreement in person at the civil affairs bureau for divorce registration. In case both parties have drawn the divorce agreement, they only need to write it out.
2. Controlling and relaxing your feelings.
      The epilog of love is always full of resentment. From the relationship of being deeply attached to each other to of being strangers, there must be various reasons. From our experience, the biggest reason for divorce cases is that one party finds a new sweetheart. Therefore, in the process of divorce procedures, the party with no or little fault is either mired in deep sorrow or full of love and hatred in heart. The conflicting feelings are obvious on the party’s mind. Since his or her feelings are easily fluctuating, one eye contact or a sentence may lead to eruption of resentment depressed in their heart. It is better for the divorcer to listen with respectful attention, not answer back, and not play tricks and to be tolerant as much as possible. Controlling and stabilizing your feelings is the best thing to do.
      Once we met with such a divorce case, when we assisted divorce procedures for the party involved at the Civil Affairs Bureau of Jin’an District in Shanghai. Maybe the female party took for granted that the divorcer had extramarital affairs, and she couldn’t help complaining that “now, you are happy as you wish, and you can get married with that seductive woman…” in waiting for divorce registration before office time. At that time, there were many people at the Bureau, waiting for registration for marriage or divorce. Suddenly, their attentions were focused by her words, which made the divorcer felt very embarrassed. I pulled him outside and tried my best to comfort him, expecting to relieve his anger. In dealing with divorce procedures, when the official at the bureau started to inquire and explain the relevant articles of association, the female party suddenly demanded to add a sentence into the divorce agreement, that is “The breakdown of marriage is caused by the male party’s extramarital affair”, otherwise, she wouldn’t sign anyway. Obviously, her request couldn’t be accepted by my client and me, as his agent. The situation was suddenly growing stressful. Good ideas came in time of crisis, so I took out the 700,000-Yuan cashier’s check as compensation to the female party in line with the divorce agreement. I tried to persuade her to sign the divorce agreement by saying that “If divorce by agreement breaks down due to such meaningless things, both parties have to confront the endless divorce proceedings.” The official at the bureau helped to harmonize the situation by asking such questions, “Do you have any evidence for your husband’s extramarital affair?” The female party began nagging about this, but she had to keep secret faced with the official’s question “Do you have any objective evidence for your suspicion?” I took the opportunity to comfort her and finally she signed the divorce agreement. In the process, I think the most unbearable person is not the female party, nor the lawyer, but the male party himself. The male party has to control his temper until the divorce certificate is issued through divorce by agreement. If the male party erupted his anger in his heart, I guess not only the registration would fail, but efforts on mediation before the agreement were in vain as well.
3. Avoid family members participating in divorce registration.
      It is said that just as a fence needs the support of three stakes, so one able fellow needs the help of three others, which means more people can do better. However, some time it is not sure to be beneficial in divorce cases. In the process of divorce registration, both parties are bound to be in an unstable mood and of course relatives of each party may treat the case with bias.
      I once acted as agent in a divorce case in April 2004. I, with the opposite party, accompanied my client to the matrimonial registry for divorce registration at Minhang District of Shanghai. At that time, the persons in the presence were my client, my assistant and I, the opposite party, her elder sister and brother-in-law. In my eyes, the sister of the opposite party was very difficult to please at the first sight. The moment she saw my client, she ground her teeth in anger. Of course, her feelings were understandable, as she thought of the case from her sister’s angle, but her act of criticizing my litigant in public were by no means recommendable, which had no substantial effect in solving the problem. Sometimes, divorce by agreement is easy to fail due to sharp utterance or disagreement in language at the last minute.
4. Ascertain time and certificates needed in advance when registering for divorce.
      It is better to inquire the time for registering divorce at the local civil affairs bureau before the procedures. For example, in Shanghai, bureaus in each district may work out different schedule on divorce registration. The relevant information is available through phones or the Internet. Besides, it is important to know about all the certificates needed for divorce registration, especially for divorce registration with a foreign national.
      In April this year, I handled a divorce case with a foreign national as his agent. My client was French, and the opposite party is Chinese. It took quite a lot time and energy in consenting divorce by agreement, as the female party was not quite cooperative. I was afraid the necessary materials for divorce registration would be left behind, so I assigned my assistant to the Administrative Department for Chinese marriage with foreign nationals at Shanghai Everbright Convention & Exhibition Center in person, to inquire about all the certificates needed for the divorce procedures. However, it was hard to image that finally the script of marriage certificate of the male party was forgotten. To ordinary divorce cases in the Mainland China, there is no need to present the script of marriage certificate, so I hadn’t thought that the script of marriage certificate was essential to divorce with a foreign national, even if the marriage was registered at this department. According to the request of the matrimonial administrative department, the person involved must make up for marriage certificate before divorce registration, which means it needed another week for the process. Meanwhile, the female party obviously showed her dissatisfaction and said she wouldn’t come for another time. We urged the person involved to contact Consulate General of France in Shanghai for his marriage registration records. Unfortunately, my client couldn’t get in touch with the official at the Consulate. We were so anxious that we could do nothing, as we could only speak English other than French. Having no alternative, I tried my best to persuade the female party to help communicate with the Consulate. Although she was unwilling to do so, my client and I hurriedly turned to the Consulate for the marriage certificate because of her help. Anyway, the case was successfully completely in the end, otherwise the divorce registration wouldn’t be completed within a day. In conclusion, make sure certificates needed are all set. The registration can be done in 20 minutes if all the procedures go through successfully.
5. Have a proper cognition about matrimonial registry.
      As for moral quality, the majority of officials at matrimonial registry are qualified, as they have accumulated plentiful practical experience in doing this job. Many of them have a very friendly and kind character, but after all they are not professional legal staff, so some of their ideas or methods may not be perfect, the persons involved should not completely trust their suggestions.
      For example, at a certain matrimonial registry in Shanghai, the official took out a draft of divorce agreement to my client, asking him to follow the draft and write it out. The contents of the divorce agreement are really simple; there are only characters “Division of common property has been negotiated by mutual consent.” in the aspect of division of common property. They even thought it was unnecessary to have a divorce agreement I drafted for my client in advance with detailed contents concerning division of common property, as there was not enough space in the format of divorce agreement. My client hesitated to what he was faced with. Finally, the official compromised and took out some paper to make up for the insufficient space in the format.
      Another example, my client was registering divorce at the Civil Affairs Bureau of XYZ District in Shanghai. The official rejected the registration, as their son in wedlock hadn’t reached one year old. After picking up their phone, I realized that the official was confused about the legal ground between divorce by agreement and divorce proceedings. In accordance with the relevant regulations of Marriage Law of P.R.C and The Civil Procedure Act of the P.R.C., the male party shall not request divorce during the female party’s period of pregnancy and the year after childbirth, divorce proceedings requested by the female party and divorce by agreement excluded. I called the officials at that bureau, but no effect at all with the reason that this is the inside rule. After that I directly made a phone call to the leader of Shanghai Civil Affairs Bureau, as I thought the inside rules should not be in conflict with the current laws. The divorce case was peacefully solved in the end. Indeed, officials at the bureau rejected with a view to protect the child’s rights and interests and those of the female party, but in case both parties have reached agreements by mutual consent and there is no need to mediate, the civil affairs bureau should conduct relevant procedures for divorce procedures.
      To sum up, in the spirit of safeguarding self-benefits, the person involved shall cooperate with officials at matrimonial registry as much as possible. Besides, it is better to consult professional lawyers if you have any suspicion concerning suggestions and measures from the officials at the civil affairs bureau, in order to avoid any hidden dangers after the divorce.